Allie-Ann

If landscapers wrote children’s books.

---

I am Allie-Ann.

Allie-Ann I am.

May I shade your rubbish can?

---

That Allie-Ann!

That Allie-Ann!

I do not like that Allie-Ann!

You may not shade my rubbish can.

I do not like your silly plans.

I do not like them, Allie-Ann!

---

Then would you like me here, or there?

---

I would not like you here, or there.

I would not like you anywhere.

I do not like your silly plans.

I do not like them, Allie-Ann!

---

Then may I grow between two rocks?

Or share a pretty planter box?

Or may I grow beside a house?

I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.

---

You may not grow between two rocks.

You may not share a planter box.

You may not grow beside a house,

not even quiet as a mouse.

I would not like you here or there.

I would not like you anywhere.

I do not like your silly plans.

I do not like them, Allie-Ann!

---

How ’bout beneath an iron grate

no other tree would contemplate?

Or up against a concrete curb?

What could I possibly disturb?

Or by a sideways traffic cone?

Sometimes I like to be alone.

---

No, not beneath an iron grate

or up against a concrete curb

or by a sideways traffic cone

unless it’s to leave *me* alone!

---

You may like me. You will see.

You may like me as a tree!

I only stink a little bit.

You’ll surely soon get used to it.

---

I’m sure I’d *not* get used to it.

You stink more than a little bit.

I would not, could not, as a tree.

Not on your life! You let me be!

Not by a house

Not by two rocks

Not in a pretty planter box.

No, not beneath an iron grate,

or lone beside a traffic cone,

or up against a concrete curb,

no matter what you won’t disturb.

I do not *want* you here and there.

I do not *want* you everywhere.

I do not like your silly plans.

I do not like them, Allie-Ann!

---

Apologies to Dr. Seuss / “Green Eggs and Ham“

Article and images Copyright 2023

Articles in the Extras category are experimental and appear unannounced. To be notified when other articles appear, visit https://whatshallweweird.com/subscribe/

---